Hi. Yeah I dunno how to start this blogpost off, which is a first for me because as you can tell by the others that I've written, I usually have a subject in mind. That being said however, I do have a couple of things that I want to ramble about, the first being...
Lost
I have just watched "What They Died For" and I can't believe what a fantastic episode it was! I wasn't that pumped for it to be honest, especially after last week's episode which was kind of like marmite (I couldn't decide whether I loved it or hated it) and so far the whole season has been like that in a way. "What They Died For" was a mixture of mythology, character development (even at this late stage) and nostalgia. There wasn't as much to take in as last week's episode and it certainly made me get that excited feeling, like it's coming to a satisfying end. The penultimate episode of Lost was a relief because I was almost beginning to lose faith in what has been a legendary series. I shall be celebrating the Finale next week with a few beers.
I can't help but think how fast things are going, maybe it's my age but every year I feel time is passing me by faster than the previous one. Before I turned 21 last month, I did feel a bit down about how I had lived my life, especially in my teen years...wasted youth? While everyone else was getting their lives in check, I was in my room categorising my DVDs in alphabetical order and wondering what I would be having for dinner the following day. There was no way I could have done anything different though, so I can't really have any kind of regrets...you can't regret something that you had no control over right? Fear is something that everyone has to deal with and for some reason it has consumed my life since the day I was born, thus what should have been some of the best years of my life, were actually some of the worst. On a brighter note, I still have the future and anything can happen, so I will keep my chin up. If all else fails, they do have McDonalds in Sweden...that always makes me happy.
Time
I can't help but think how fast things are going, maybe it's my age but every year I feel time is passing me by faster than the previous one. Before I turned 21 last month, I did feel a bit down about how I had lived my life, especially in my teen years...wasted youth? While everyone else was getting their lives in check, I was in my room categorising my DVDs in alphabetical order and wondering what I would be having for dinner the following day. There was no way I could have done anything different though, so I can't really have any kind of regrets...you can't regret something that you had no control over right? Fear is something that everyone has to deal with and for some reason it has consumed my life since the day I was born, thus what should have been some of the best years of my life, were actually some of the worst. On a brighter note, I still have the future and anything can happen, so I will keep my chin up. If all else fails, they do have McDonalds in Sweden...that always makes me happy.
Music
I've been playing alot of Beatles songs on the guitar lately, I'm just getting to grips with how clever they were, technically speaking. I can understand why people think they're overrated, but I think they deserve every single bit of recignition they get, their songs had more meaning than anything in the Top 40 combined, although that's not saying alot is it?
I'm sick of hearing about this Justin Bieber guy, he's just some Canadian in a crooked hat that can't sing, same with Miley Cyrus...if she were to wear a crooked hat that is. You know you're getting older when you think stuff like that is the Devil...or as my friends would say "Divil". Kiwis eh? Sorry about the rant, but today's "icons" need shooting.
To be honest I don't listen to alot of music, which I'm pretty sure is down to the guitar. Everytime I listen to a song I'm thinking of what key it's in or what kind of equipment is used etc etc. It can be tiresome, especially when you just want to sit down and relax. That is one of the many faults with playing an instrument, you become a lot closer with the music and you strive to equal or better whatever you're listening to, it's an uphill struggle. It's not all doom and gloom though, nothing beats wailing out on the guitar, whether it's acoustic or electric, that feeling never goes.
I still enjoy writing in this blog, somedays I make an effort, somedays I don't. I'm not going to set myself days to update because then I don't think I'd enjoy doing it as much. There are things that everyday I tell myself "oo, should write about that" and usually I do, somethings are very difficult to write about though as I'll only have about a paragraph of thought which I can leave to Facebook.
The response has been great, I didn't expect so many people to read it, especially family members who I haven't spoke to in years. It's not exactly getting us relatives together, but it's certainly helping me to interact with people who I've known all my life, but barely spoken to. Since my grandparents died, the family has kind of split up and now that I've moved to Sweden, there's not much possibility for me to see them anymore. Shame, I know, but that's life.
I know i've sunk a bit in this blogpost, but it's that time of year where you get those nostalgic feelings of "What if.." and "If only...". We all get like this, this is why we all crave the hot weather, because it gives us chance to go out for walks and think about everything, past, present and future.
Speaking of walks, the caravans are parked up next to the beach now, I was aware this would happen around this time and as expected I'm feeling a bit of anxiety, it hasn't stopped us from getting out though, we just have to be a bit wary of the times that we do. I still need to teach Lisa how to be with me outside around this time with people...she forgets to be on the side closest to them, but I give her a little shove and she understands. I would have said "poke" but that sounds weird.
Anyway, she's graduating soon so that's fun. She's got a few jobs lined up for the Summer, luckily the hours are flexible so we can still spend alot of time together which is important. It seems we're moving on to bigger and better things, with University for her just around the corner and...well I don't have alot going on but hey, I'm making progress everyday. I still feel shitty around people but I think that's always going to be there no matter what, there is no cure for what I have, I have to make the best of it and live my life day by day.
As I said, not alot is going on in my life right now, still playing guitar and cleaning this mess of an apartment. When I'm not doing those things, I'm chatting online to Tari and Jimfuck which is always fun and sometimes uncomfortable due to Tari's gum fetish...long story. Oh yeah and when he was 3, Jimfuck kicked a baby kangeroo...that one had me laughing for a good 2 minutes. We have a thriving Facebook group called "I am a man...from Latin", the most random stuff gets posted there and we have a good time, Jimfuck and I are the dictators, with Lisa and Tari as our...well I guess they're dictators too now that we made them Admins. Immature stuff, but I really need the humour, Lisa's not exactly a comedian and Swedish TV is about as entertaining as The Weather Channel. Yeah, I gave it a try and realised I couldn't stand the adverts and subtitles. I will be looking into a way to watch British TV, possibly on my laptop soon, I don't miss it too much, infact it's done me some good to be away from it, but I think it'd be nice to know my options in regards to it.
Probably my most honest blog to date, infact it was more of an update of how things are, which I never thought I would do here. I tend to usually have an interesting topic and work around that, but today I just felt the need to do a rambling blog, so excuse my poor use of the English language. I realise my style is not to everyone's taste, so to those who have taken a dislike to what I write about...BLOW IT UP YER ASS! Just kidding, I really like saying that though.
So yeah, that's what I'm thinking about right now.
'Till next time....
The Blog
I still enjoy writing in this blog, somedays I make an effort, somedays I don't. I'm not going to set myself days to update because then I don't think I'd enjoy doing it as much. There are things that everyday I tell myself "oo, should write about that" and usually I do, somethings are very difficult to write about though as I'll only have about a paragraph of thought which I can leave to Facebook.
The response has been great, I didn't expect so many people to read it, especially family members who I haven't spoke to in years. It's not exactly getting us relatives together, but it's certainly helping me to interact with people who I've known all my life, but barely spoken to. Since my grandparents died, the family has kind of split up and now that I've moved to Sweden, there's not much possibility for me to see them anymore. Shame, I know, but that's life.
Reflection
I know i've sunk a bit in this blogpost, but it's that time of year where you get those nostalgic feelings of "What if.." and "If only...". We all get like this, this is why we all crave the hot weather, because it gives us chance to go out for walks and think about everything, past, present and future.
Speaking of walks, the caravans are parked up next to the beach now, I was aware this would happen around this time and as expected I'm feeling a bit of anxiety, it hasn't stopped us from getting out though, we just have to be a bit wary of the times that we do. I still need to teach Lisa how to be with me outside around this time with people...she forgets to be on the side closest to them, but I give her a little shove and she understands. I would have said "poke" but that sounds weird.
Anyway, she's graduating soon so that's fun. She's got a few jobs lined up for the Summer, luckily the hours are flexible so we can still spend alot of time together which is important. It seems we're moving on to bigger and better things, with University for her just around the corner and...well I don't have alot going on but hey, I'm making progress everyday. I still feel shitty around people but I think that's always going to be there no matter what, there is no cure for what I have, I have to make the best of it and live my life day by day.
As I said, not alot is going on in my life right now, still playing guitar and cleaning this mess of an apartment. When I'm not doing those things, I'm chatting online to Tari and Jimfuck which is always fun and sometimes uncomfortable due to Tari's gum fetish...long story. Oh yeah and when he was 3, Jimfuck kicked a baby kangeroo...that one had me laughing for a good 2 minutes. We have a thriving Facebook group called "I am a man...from Latin", the most random stuff gets posted there and we have a good time, Jimfuck and I are the dictators, with Lisa and Tari as our...well I guess they're dictators too now that we made them Admins. Immature stuff, but I really need the humour, Lisa's not exactly a comedian and Swedish TV is about as entertaining as The Weather Channel. Yeah, I gave it a try and realised I couldn't stand the adverts and subtitles. I will be looking into a way to watch British TV, possibly on my laptop soon, I don't miss it too much, infact it's done me some good to be away from it, but I think it'd be nice to know my options in regards to it.
Probably my most honest blog to date, infact it was more of an update of how things are, which I never thought I would do here. I tend to usually have an interesting topic and work around that, but today I just felt the need to do a rambling blog, so excuse my poor use of the English language. I realise my style is not to everyone's taste, so to those who have taken a dislike to what I write about...BLOW IT UP YER ASS! Just kidding, I really like saying that though.
So yeah, that's what I'm thinking about right now.
'Till next time....
1 comment:
it makes me laugh when you are so honest keep it up x
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